Are You Getting it?

Sarah Palin On Syria: ‘Let Allah Sort It Out’ (VIDEO)

The Huffington Post  | By  
Posted: 06/15/2013

“‘Until we have a commander in chief who knows what he is doing… let Allah sort it out!’ Palin told the conservative crowd, according to The Hill.”

This would be a bad political stratagem on Allah’s part, as it would merely encourage meddling by Shiva in India, which would further test Zoroaster’s patience in Iran.  Through a spokesperson, JHWH commented, “Oy vey.”  The reaction from Jesus Christ was less subdued.  “Me!” he is reported to have exclaimed to his aides.

INSIDE THE ACTRESS STUDIO

James Lipton ‘not ashamed’ of being a pimp

Ann Oldenburg, USA TODAY8:29 a.m. EDT May 30, 2013

“…The host, 86, revealed in an interview with Parade that he was a pimp in Paris in the 1950s…”

As a philosophical Biblical scholar, I know the answer to the question from Jeremiah, “Can a leper change its spots?” is a resounding “No.”  As someone who is currently putting off doing productive work, I did some Internet sleuthing to divine whether Mr. Lipton had ever really left the profession.  As the transcripts from his 4.20.2013 interview with Holland Taylor reveal, I think he has actually expanded into pornography. 

 

Holland Taylor
Holland Taylor.jpg

Here are some excerpts:

James Lipton:  Our guest tonight, Holland Taylor, is best known for her work on Bosom Buddies, The Practice, Two and a Half Men, and her play about Texas Governor Ann Richards, Ann: An Affectionate Portrait of Ann Richards, has yielded much critical acclaim.  Ms. Taylor, it’s an honor to have you on our show tonight.

Holland Taylor:  Thank you, James.  It’s great to see you again, and it’s great to be here.

JL:  Were you nervous playing Governor Richards?  She was quite a lady.

HT:  Yes she was.  Very compassionate and down-to-earth, but also a very domineering presence.

JL:  “Domineering.”  I like that; very exciting. 

HT:  Yes, and I really admired the humility she showed when she lost her re-election bid to Bush.  As an artist, I really tried to tap into that spirit.

JL:  Trying to tap into a domineering woman having to surrender to Bush.  Yes, I like that concept.  Tell us about the gestalt involved in that.

HT:  I—I don’t quite understand the question.

HT:  I think one of my favorite actors to work with—and this is easy to say now because he’s become so big—was Tom Hanks.

JL:  Yes, I know for a fact that he is big.  And you’re referring, of course, to your work on Bosom Buddies.

HT:  My first love is the the-at-re, but it was the kind of commercial success that that show, you know, that the show brought that allowed me the freedom to do what I wanted, like more in a creative sense.

JL:  Have you had many “bosom buddies” in your wonderful life?  You seem very worldly.

HT:  Well, yes, I’ve had many intimate female friends over the years.

JL:  Wonderful!  Could you give us some details?  Who?

HT:  Geez, where to begin?  First and foremost, I guess, would be my mother, God bless her—

JL:  Kinky!  I’m picturing it right now, running the film through my cerebellum as we speak.

HT:  Uh, I’m not sure we’re on the same page here, James.

JL:  Oh, well sometimes you just have to chuck the script and go with the moment.

HT:  Well as an actor, I certainly know what you mean.  The profession, in a sense, is predicated on just kind of going with things. 

JL:  Allowing yourself to be naked in front of strangers.  That’s essentially what you get paid for.  Is that a fair assessment?

HT:  Well, emotionally, yes, that’s what we do.

JL:  Could you please just come right out and say it?

HT:  Come again?

JL:  Fabulous!

HT:  When they approached me about doing Two and a Half Men, I was a tough sell at first.

JL:  Because you had never done two and a half men before?

HT:  Well how could I?  I was in the pilot.

JL:  I have a midget friend, who–

HT:  Excuse me?

JL:  Tell me about Charlie Sheen, about working with him.  We’ve all heard the stories.

HT:  Charlie was wonderful to work with!  I can’t emphasize that enough.  Very professional on the set.  Real hard worker.

JL:  Indefatigable.

HT:  Absolutely!

JL:  Insatiable.

HT:  He loves his work.  He’s passionate about it.

JL:  A stallion with lots of stamina, just ready to thrust himself fully into his work with utter abandon.

HT:  Wow, I mean, that’s some colorful language, James, but if you want to put it that way—

JL:  Yes, I do want to put it that way.  Hold on, I need a moment here.

HT:  It is your show.

JL:  You’re damn right it’s my show and I shall conduct myself however I see fit!

[At this point, James Lipton appears ready to strike Holland Taylor, but he seems to rein in the urge.  She begins to squirm uncomfortably and look offstage at a producer.]

JL:  There was a lot of buzz when Miley Cyrus appeared on the show.  I’ve admired her work since her days on Hannah Montana.  I think with that show, she really began to mature, to blossom in the third season.  As an actress, of course.

HT:  Uh, I guess.  We really didn’t work together when she was on Two and a Half Men

JL:  You didn’t?

HT:  No, you see, I want to talk about my work with—

JL:  Well, that’s quite a stunning disappointment.  So you wouldn’t know anything about her dressing room, I take it?

HT:  No.  I don’t know.

JL:  I was just curious as to whether she had any piercings, I mean ones that aren’t visible when she’s on the Red Carpet.

HT:  With all due respect, I don’t know why we’re discussing matters like Miley Cyrus and the Red Carpet.

JL:  I don’t think she’s a natural blonde, while we’re on the subject.  Do you think–

HT:  I’m going to have to stop you right there.  I’m going to have to leave this interview, Mr. Lipton.  I think you should go get some sleep.

JL:  Yes, I do think I shall retire to my dressing room post haste.  It’s been a pleasure interviewing you.  Holland Bosom, everyone.  A true legend.  Join us next peek.