I Know Why the Caged Rat Has the Munchies

Colorado ad campaign tests new message to prevent teen marijuana use

Crew members Andrew Willey, left, and Brian Houchin with Proctor Productions in Denver finish assembling large cages on Friday, part of an advertising

“…The campaign is called Don’t Be a Lab Rat.’ The idea is to suggest to kids that Colorado has become a testing ground on the consequences of marijuana legalization — and they will be the test subjects if they use pot…”
 
And remember, kids, that if you’re busted with weed in most of the country, you will likely end up in a cage like this.

Word choice, people!

Breaking news on Huffpost; 6.30.2014

“Supreme Court Delivers Blow To Unions”

I’m too busy to thoroughly read the item, but what kind of “blow” is being described?  Is it good Columbian or cheap powder cut with baking soda?  Did they all participate in the drop-off?  Roberts doesn’t seem like the guy to be trusted by either party.  On the other hand, unions generally relate to labor and jobs, so maybe something else is being described.  That raises some even more interesting questions.

Almost a Happy Ending

Baltimore police hot line number connects callers to adult chat

Toll-free number for internal investigations instead goes to ‘America’s hottest talk line’

May 07, 2014|By Colin Campbell, The Baltimore Sun

“A phone number for filing complaints about Baltimore police officers connected callers this week instead to an adult chat line advertising ‘hot ladies’…”

I was able to acquire a transcript of one confusing exchange:

Hot Lady:  Hi, gorgeous, I’m Sandy.  What’s your name?

Caller:  Uh, hi, but I’d rather not say.

HL:  Oh, that’s too bad.  What can I do to you today?

C:  Well, you see, I was going to the 7/11 at the Market Place–

HL:  Oh, I love that place.  Do they still have those foot-long hot dogs?  I could swallow them all, night, long.

C:  Dunno’.  But what happened was, this officer asked me for my ID–yeah I’d had me a few beers–but I told I didn’t have one.

HL:  I’ll bet you have a lot of other things, though.  A lot of big things.

C:  I guess, but he throws me against the wall and starts putting his hands in my pockets–

HL:  Stop, slow down.  I’m gettin’ so hot right now.  A man in uniform throwing me against a wall and putting his hands all over me.  I wish you were that man.

C:  I’d never be a cop.  No ma’am.

HL:  Did he have handcuffs?

C:  Uh, I’m sure he did, but he didn’t put them on me.  He let me go, but he was so rough and I felt violated.

HL:  Did that turn you on?

C:  Fuc–I mean, hell no!

HL:  It would me.  I love it when someone violates me rough.  I think I’m gonna’ come!

C:  Ma’am, if you have to go, I understand.  But could you please put someone else on the line if you do?

HL:  You’re so cute.  So hot.

C:  Thanks.

HL:  Have you ever been rough with anyone?

C:  Well, my brothers and me–

HL:  Oh, how kinky!

C:  Just ‘rassling.

[There is quite a long pause, and when she returns her voice has changed to a serious tone.]

HL:  I’m sorry.  I–I just can’t do this no longer.  Mister, I was abused, too.

C:  I’m sorry to hear that, Ma’am.

HL:  It was in, in a different way.

C:  Who would do that to a nice lady like you?

HL:  First my dad, then my brothers–[She begins to cry]–then a couple other assholes.

C:  Sure sound like assholes if you ask me.

HL:  Where are you now?  Can you get any coke?

C:  I got some on me now.

HL:  Can you make it to Nebraska?  We’ll party.  I’m done with this fucking job.

C:  Nebraska!  Maybe in, like, two days.

[Hot Lady gives Caller her address, where he tracks her down four days later.  He learns from neighbors that she had committed suicide four nights ago.  Despondent, he proceeds to smoke the crack, of which he had brought plenty, in a discrete area he could find near the Greyhound station.

[When the coroner gave his report on our would-be Romeo several days later, he noted, “Technically, I’ll rule this a drug overdose.  But, in my nonmedical opinion, our John Doe died of a broken heart.”]

 

Guess what New Hampshire police now mean by a “Code Montenegro”?

‘COPSLIE’ license plate is protected by free speech, court rules

Paresh Dave; Los Angeles Times; May 7, 2014

“Though it might insult police officers and make them want to pull him over, a New Hampshire man’s car could soon be sporting a license plate reading ‘COPSLIE.’

“David Montenegro, whose legal name is ‘human,’ sued the state’s Division of Motor Vehicles after officials rejected his vanity license plate application on the grounds that it accused police officers of ‘moral turpitude’…” 

Mr. human has a degree in economics, as well as an insecure need to seek others’ approval.  He conducted a cost-benefit analysis in which he measured the thumbs-ups and honks of approval versus the monetary costs of the tickets he was sure to receive before ordering the plates.  He later realized that he had misplaced a decimal point.  He now takes the bus to work.

 

Wild Directions

Some interesting news the last couple days:
 

With New E-Cigarette Rules, FDA Hopes To Tame A ‘Wild, Wild West’

by –April 24, 2014–NPR

 

The Wild West, eh?  Hyperbole like this is the surest sign of fear mongering.

In the real West, an anti-government darling of people like myself apparently feels a nostalgia for the Old South:

Politicians denounce Bundy’s racist remarks

Posted by –4.24.2014

 
In the contemporary South, some pols want a real “Wild West”: 
Ga. governor signs ‘guns everywhere’ into law
Larry Copeland and Doug Richards, USA TODAY–April 23, 2014
 
Arm law-abiding citizens?  I think it would certainly be a good idea here in the mid-Atlantic city of Baltimore:

14-Year-Old Shot In The Head Was Son Of ‘Stop Snitching’ DVDs Creator

April 23, 2014–CBS Baltimore
 
Around the world, East-West clashes again seem Imminent:

Obama says more sanctions against North Korea possible

Associated Press–April 25, 2014
 
Ukraine crisis: West wants to ‘seize control’ – Russia
BBC–25 April 2014

 

While everyone in the Mideast always seems to be ginning for a fight:
Israel quits Mideast peace talks in protest
 

Palestinian deal involving Hamas riles Netanyahu

Josef Federman–Associated Press–April 24, 2014
 

Our best hope?

NASA chief defends Mars mission, colonization of Red Planet necessary for human survival

By Alexander Saltarin–Tech Times–April 24, 2014

Putting the “Twit” in “Twitter”

New York police Twitter campaign backfires badly

AFP   4.23.14

samples of the deluge of pictures of alleged police brutality the NYPD received on Tuesday

.New York (AFP) – “New York police Tuesday were eating extra helpings of humble pie after asking people to post images of themselves and NYPD officers on Twitter — only to face a deluge of pictures of alleged police brutality…”

The cop on the left claims they missed the good part, where “my follow-through after busting that fucker’s head open was sublime!”

One of the police on the right-hand picture tried to defend their actions.  “You can see the guy’s black, right?”

Reservoir Dogs

Portland draining reservoir after man urinates in it

Portland, Oregon’s Mount Tabor reservoir holds 8 million gallons of drinking water.

“Oregon’s Portland Water Bureau is draining an 8 million-gallon reservoir after surveillance cameras caught a man urinating into it this week…”

One of my role models, Abbie fuckin’ Hoffman, jokingly threatened to dose Chicago’s drinking supply with acid during the tumultuous ’68 Democratic Convention.  Even in the hysteria of those days, authorities realized that such a feat would be impossible to have an efficacy.  Yet some bureautard in Portland decided that people wouldn’t want to drink such contaminated water.  It looks pretty; maybe the guy’s awe was such that he felt the sudden need to relieve himself.  Or, to be sympathetic to the city, maybe he had drunk a million beers.

Still, if I was a citizen, I’d be pretty damn pissed.