What have YOU been smoking, bud?

Florida Anti-pot Leader: Weed Is a Date Rape Drug and Will Make You Gay and Vulnerable to AIDS

Homosexuality “seems to be something that follows along from their marijuana use…,” says former Reagan drug czar
by Mark Frauenfelder | Boing Boing.net | August 21, 2014
 
Any potheads or former potheads like me can attest to this.  I shot up some marijuana several weeks ago, and I went on a viscous crime spree.  Naturally, that included rape.  Women or men, girls or boys, raccoons–no one was safe from my reefer madness.
 
This guy said it best:
 
 
 

Burn Your Money

A Line Is Drawn in the Desert
At Burning Man, the Tech Elite One-Up One Another

By NICK BILTON AUG. 20, 2014; The New York Times

“…If you have never been to Burning Man, your perception is likely this: a white-hot desert filled with 50,000 stoned, half-naked hippies doing sun salutations while techno music thumps through the air.

“A few years ago, this assumption would have been mostly correct. But now things are a little different. Over the last two years, Burning Man, which this year runs from Aug. 25 to Sept. 1, has been the annual getaway for a new crop of millionaire and billionaire technology moguls, many of whom are one-upping one another in a secret game of I-can-spend-more-money-than-you-can and, some say, ruining it for everyone else…”

I asked my friend, Rainbow, about this phenomenon, since he’s been attending since the mid-90s. Here’s what he had to say:

“Man, we were just, like, tripping off these guys. The Facebook cat–starts with a Z–he had obviously coke all over his face, and he’s running around yelling, ‘We’re the one percent, motherfuckers! You all can suck it!’ He started peeing on my friend T-Bone, then asked, ‘How do you like me now?!’ My dog’s all chill, so he’s just like, ‘I do not like this. This is not cool and you’ve got to chill, bro.’

“Let’s see, then there was some guy walking around in just a suit and tie. No fucking pants or nothing! Can you believe that shit? Someone told me they had sold him some fake E earlier. I don’t know if he was high on other shit or just a natural douchebag. He was chilling with some guy who was a big shot banker. He was trying to take people’s tents and shit. He messed with the wrong guy who got in his face and was like, ‘If you don’t go back to your spot, we’re gonna’ burn you.’ Then the guy sat down and cried for about half an hour. I really felt bad for him, you know?”

I Know Why the Caged Rat Has the Munchies

Colorado ad campaign tests new message to prevent teen marijuana use

Crew members Andrew Willey, left, and Brian Houchin with Proctor Productions in Denver finish assembling large cages on Friday, part of an advertising

“…The campaign is called Don’t Be a Lab Rat.’ The idea is to suggest to kids that Colorado has become a testing ground on the consequences of marijuana legalization — and they will be the test subjects if they use pot…”
 
And remember, kids, that if you’re busted with weed in most of the country, you will likely end up in a cage like this.

Irony Ain’t Just a Description of the Earth’s Core

Seattle’s pot store opens: It’s time to ‘free the weed’
The Seattle Times; July 8, 2014
One store owner in the state had the following to say about the high sales overall:

“I think we’ll be very successful because of our zero tolerance policy when it comes to employee drug use.  Hair, blood, and urine can be tested at any time.  And we have the right to demand a polygraph at any time we suspect drug use during their employment here.  Even when they’re not working, I want clear and focused individuals with moral integrity.

“Because our pre-screening process is so thorough, I don’t think we’ll even need to use those measures.  They’re simply redundancy steps.  We probably won’t even need them.  I ask subtle questions, like ‘Do you have a favorite Beatles song?’ or ‘Have you ever worn a tie-dye shirt?’
 
“I’m not paranoid, but I just can’t have people who smoke pot around the product and the people who buy it.  I need people with as much contempt for marijuana users as me.  I don’t want workers who are slow and bad at math–not to mention dirty.  I cannot have people looking at our merchandise and who are thinking, ‘I want to smoke a 420 with that’.”

Even the creator of the polemic linked below commented, “Jesus Christ!  That guy’s pretty uptight.”

That’s heavy, man.

Word choice, people!

Breaking news on Huffpost; 6.30.2014

“Supreme Court Delivers Blow To Unions”

I’m too busy to thoroughly read the item, but what kind of “blow” is being described?  Is it good Columbian or cheap powder cut with baking soda?  Did they all participate in the drop-off?  Roberts doesn’t seem like the guy to be trusted by either party.  On the other hand, unions generally relate to labor and jobs, so maybe something else is being described.  That raises some even more interesting questions.

Hazzard County Will Never Be the Same, If’n You Don’t Cotton to Paying for Sex the Old-Fashioned Way

Disgraced ‘sheriff of the year’ who traded meth for sex gets 15 months in prison

June 20, 2014

“The tables have turned on…Once nationally lauded for his anti-drug crusades, the former sheriff admitted to a drug problem and was sentenced to 15 months in prison for repeated probation violations in a meth-for-sex case, the Denver Post reported.

“The 71-year-old, a one-time national sheriff of the year, missed 36 urine tests and tested positive for methamphetamine or alcohol 10 times in more than two years of probation, his probation officer told reporters…”

My curiosity is piqued concerning the well-known sex-for-drugs link:  do methheads (or crackheads or junkies) get into it in the sack?  Or do they just kind of phone it in?

What is more severe than a red card?

World Cup ticket purchase leads to arrest of Mexican drug lord

 

“Brazliian [sic] authorities arrested a long-sought suspected Mexican drug lord as he attempted to board a domestic flight from Rio de Janiero to Fortaleza, Brazil, where Mexico faced Brazil on Tuesday. 

“…bought a ticket to the match under his real name…”

After the apprehension was complete, one zealous cop yelled, “Gooooooaaaaaalllllll!”

The frisking cop must have lost a serious bet beforehand

450-lb alleged drug suspect kept his stash hidden in his belly fat: police

By John Luciew; pennlive.com; 6.16.2014

“…was carrying a little extra weight. No, this had nothing to do with his 450-pound girth. It was the 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his stomach fat that police say they found following a traffic stop…” 

I’m pro-pot and all, but I think this guy should not be involved with anything that might produce the munchies.

Almost a Happy Ending

Baltimore police hot line number connects callers to adult chat

Toll-free number for internal investigations instead goes to ‘America’s hottest talk line’

May 07, 2014|By Colin Campbell, The Baltimore Sun

“A phone number for filing complaints about Baltimore police officers connected callers this week instead to an adult chat line advertising ‘hot ladies’…”

I was able to acquire a transcript of one confusing exchange:

Hot Lady:  Hi, gorgeous, I’m Sandy.  What’s your name?

Caller:  Uh, hi, but I’d rather not say.

HL:  Oh, that’s too bad.  What can I do to you today?

C:  Well, you see, I was going to the 7/11 at the Market Place–

HL:  Oh, I love that place.  Do they still have those foot-long hot dogs?  I could swallow them all, night, long.

C:  Dunno’.  But what happened was, this officer asked me for my ID–yeah I’d had me a few beers–but I told I didn’t have one.

HL:  I’ll bet you have a lot of other things, though.  A lot of big things.

C:  I guess, but he throws me against the wall and starts putting his hands in my pockets–

HL:  Stop, slow down.  I’m gettin’ so hot right now.  A man in uniform throwing me against a wall and putting his hands all over me.  I wish you were that man.

C:  I’d never be a cop.  No ma’am.

HL:  Did he have handcuffs?

C:  Uh, I’m sure he did, but he didn’t put them on me.  He let me go, but he was so rough and I felt violated.

HL:  Did that turn you on?

C:  Fuc–I mean, hell no!

HL:  It would me.  I love it when someone violates me rough.  I think I’m gonna’ come!

C:  Ma’am, if you have to go, I understand.  But could you please put someone else on the line if you do?

HL:  You’re so cute.  So hot.

C:  Thanks.

HL:  Have you ever been rough with anyone?

C:  Well, my brothers and me–

HL:  Oh, how kinky!

C:  Just ‘rassling.

[There is quite a long pause, and when she returns her voice has changed to a serious tone.]

HL:  I’m sorry.  I–I just can’t do this no longer.  Mister, I was abused, too.

C:  I’m sorry to hear that, Ma’am.

HL:  It was in, in a different way.

C:  Who would do that to a nice lady like you?

HL:  First my dad, then my brothers–[She begins to cry]–then a couple other assholes.

C:  Sure sound like assholes if you ask me.

HL:  Where are you now?  Can you get any coke?

C:  I got some on me now.

HL:  Can you make it to Nebraska?  We’ll party.  I’m done with this fucking job.

C:  Nebraska!  Maybe in, like, two days.

[Hot Lady gives Caller her address, where he tracks her down four days later.  He learns from neighbors that she had committed suicide four nights ago.  Despondent, he proceeds to smoke the crack, of which he had brought plenty, in a discrete area he could find near the Greyhound station.

[When the coroner gave his report on our would-be Romeo several days later, he noted, “Technically, I’ll rule this a drug overdose.  But, in my nonmedical opinion, our John Doe died of a broken heart.”]

 

Drug Education Needed

Smartie sniffing hits York County

4th To 6th grades: Shallow Brook Intermediate sees rash of students using Smarties treats inappropriately.

By NIKELLE SNADER– yorkdispatch.com–4.25.2014

“…But in the past several weeks a ‘rash’ of students have been grinding the candy into a powder and ‘sniffing or smoking’ it, according to an email Walker sent to parents. Some students have also been sniffing crushed Cheerios, according to the letter…”

Kids, kids, kids:  snorting a candy called “Smarties” does not make you smarter (although it will protect your teeth from the evils of sugar.)  You’re supposed to snort your older siblings’ Adderall for that,