What have YOU been smoking, bud?

Florida Anti-pot Leader: Weed Is a Date Rape Drug and Will Make You Gay and Vulnerable to AIDS

Homosexuality “seems to be something that follows along from their marijuana use…,” says former Reagan drug czar
by Mark Frauenfelder | Boing Boing.net | August 21, 2014
 
Any potheads or former potheads like me can attest to this.  I shot up some marijuana several weeks ago, and I went on a viscous crime spree.  Naturally, that included rape.  Women or men, girls or boys, raccoons–no one was safe from my reefer madness.
 
This guy said it best:
 
 
 

I Know Why the Caged Rat Has the Munchies

Colorado ad campaign tests new message to prevent teen marijuana use

Crew members Andrew Willey, left, and Brian Houchin with Proctor Productions in Denver finish assembling large cages on Friday, part of an advertising

“…The campaign is called Don’t Be a Lab Rat.’ The idea is to suggest to kids that Colorado has become a testing ground on the consequences of marijuana legalization — and they will be the test subjects if they use pot…”
 
And remember, kids, that if you’re busted with weed in most of the country, you will likely end up in a cage like this.

Hazzard County Will Never Be the Same, If’n You Don’t Cotton to Paying for Sex the Old-Fashioned Way

Disgraced ‘sheriff of the year’ who traded meth for sex gets 15 months in prison

June 20, 2014

“The tables have turned on…Once nationally lauded for his anti-drug crusades, the former sheriff admitted to a drug problem and was sentenced to 15 months in prison for repeated probation violations in a meth-for-sex case, the Denver Post reported.

“The 71-year-old, a one-time national sheriff of the year, missed 36 urine tests and tested positive for methamphetamine or alcohol 10 times in more than two years of probation, his probation officer told reporters…”

My curiosity is piqued concerning the well-known sex-for-drugs link:  do methheads (or crackheads or junkies) get into it in the sack?  Or do they just kind of phone it in?

DIY Religion

Priestly robes, books stolen from church, 3 arrested

By Crimesider Staff; CBS News; June 19, 2014

“GARDNER, Mass. – What would three young men want with priestly robes, books and other items from a church in central Massachusetts? Police in the town of Gardner aren’t saying, exactly – but they and the clergy of St. Joseph Catholic Church are just glad they got everything back, according to CBS Boston.

“Rev. Thomas Tokarz, of St. Joseph Catholic Church, said that on Friday the 13th, someone broke through a back window and then into a downstairs office. He said what was stolen was not locked up – religious books, candle holders, and ornate robes used for mass.

“‘They probably could have taken the chalices, but they didn’t. They took the vestments, which means nothing to them. The only one who can wear them are priests’,” Tokarz told the station.

“The specific items have no value on the open market.

“Officers reportedly found all the items when they responded to a call about a man running through an abandoned building wearing priestly robes…”

I’d really like to meet these three guys who wanted to play religion.  Were they trying to start a breakaway sect?  Wanted to add a sacred element to drinking wine in an abandominium?  Or were they just careless assholes?

 

What is more severe than a red card?

World Cup ticket purchase leads to arrest of Mexican drug lord

 

“Brazliian [sic] authorities arrested a long-sought suspected Mexican drug lord as he attempted to board a domestic flight from Rio de Janiero to Fortaleza, Brazil, where Mexico faced Brazil on Tuesday. 

“…bought a ticket to the match under his real name…”

After the apprehension was complete, one zealous cop yelled, “Gooooooaaaaaalllllll!”

Karma replied that complaints would, per routine, be directed to call centers in India

Agency apologizes for mattress ad depicting shooting of Malala Yousafzai

‘We deeply regret this incident and want to personally apologize to Malala and her family, Ogilvy & Mather says

 
“The agency behind an Indian mattress company’s print ad that depicts the shooting of Malala Yousafzai has apologized for the controversial spot…”

View photo

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The controversial ad (Kurl-on/Ads of the World)

 

“Oh, Krishna!  This is bad, very bad,” the CEO said in private.  “We’ve really shot ourselves in the foot here.  Can we still do the one where bin Laden is so comfortable that he oversleeps and misses a big attack?”

Almost a Happy Ending

Baltimore police hot line number connects callers to adult chat

Toll-free number for internal investigations instead goes to ‘America’s hottest talk line’

May 07, 2014|By Colin Campbell, The Baltimore Sun

“A phone number for filing complaints about Baltimore police officers connected callers this week instead to an adult chat line advertising ‘hot ladies’…”

I was able to acquire a transcript of one confusing exchange:

Hot Lady:  Hi, gorgeous, I’m Sandy.  What’s your name?

Caller:  Uh, hi, but I’d rather not say.

HL:  Oh, that’s too bad.  What can I do to you today?

C:  Well, you see, I was going to the 7/11 at the Market Place–

HL:  Oh, I love that place.  Do they still have those foot-long hot dogs?  I could swallow them all, night, long.

C:  Dunno’.  But what happened was, this officer asked me for my ID–yeah I’d had me a few beers–but I told I didn’t have one.

HL:  I’ll bet you have a lot of other things, though.  A lot of big things.

C:  I guess, but he throws me against the wall and starts putting his hands in my pockets–

HL:  Stop, slow down.  I’m gettin’ so hot right now.  A man in uniform throwing me against a wall and putting his hands all over me.  I wish you were that man.

C:  I’d never be a cop.  No ma’am.

HL:  Did he have handcuffs?

C:  Uh, I’m sure he did, but he didn’t put them on me.  He let me go, but he was so rough and I felt violated.

HL:  Did that turn you on?

C:  Fuc–I mean, hell no!

HL:  It would me.  I love it when someone violates me rough.  I think I’m gonna’ come!

C:  Ma’am, if you have to go, I understand.  But could you please put someone else on the line if you do?

HL:  You’re so cute.  So hot.

C:  Thanks.

HL:  Have you ever been rough with anyone?

C:  Well, my brothers and me–

HL:  Oh, how kinky!

C:  Just ‘rassling.

[There is quite a long pause, and when she returns her voice has changed to a serious tone.]

HL:  I’m sorry.  I–I just can’t do this no longer.  Mister, I was abused, too.

C:  I’m sorry to hear that, Ma’am.

HL:  It was in, in a different way.

C:  Who would do that to a nice lady like you?

HL:  First my dad, then my brothers–[She begins to cry]–then a couple other assholes.

C:  Sure sound like assholes if you ask me.

HL:  Where are you now?  Can you get any coke?

C:  I got some on me now.

HL:  Can you make it to Nebraska?  We’ll party.  I’m done with this fucking job.

C:  Nebraska!  Maybe in, like, two days.

[Hot Lady gives Caller her address, where he tracks her down four days later.  He learns from neighbors that she had committed suicide four nights ago.  Despondent, he proceeds to smoke the crack, of which he had brought plenty, in a discrete area he could find near the Greyhound station.

[When the coroner gave his report on our would-be Romeo several days later, he noted, “Technically, I’ll rule this a drug overdose.  But, in my nonmedical opinion, our John Doe died of a broken heart.”]