No Pressure or Anything

Alaskan Mom Petitions for Daughter’s ‘Awesome’ Name Change

“If a mom in Alaska gets her way, her 1-year-old daughter will go by the middle name ‘Awesome.’

“‘She’s just fun and happy and super smart and it fits her personality,” Lisa Flores told ABC News of her daughter, Viviana. “It just fits. She’s an awesome little girl.’…”

I think this Alaskan lady has brain freeze.   No one-year old has ever conceivably demonstrated anything to warrant such an appellation.  Maybe wait until she masters calculus by age six, or single-handedly saves a beached whale or something.  Until then, “We’ll See” would be the most appropriate middle name.

At my Unitarian Universalist church, we had a blessing ceremony for an infant where we were implored to “love” the child.  I recall thinking, “How do I know the kid isn’t going to turn out to be an asshole?  Show me some results, and then I may come to respect the kid.  Until then, he’s just reinforcement for me to practice birth control.”

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