Their Standards Can’t Be That High, Can They?

I’ve never lived in a city with major sports teams before, where I must hear people obsess ad infinitum about the Ravens, the Orioles, and their rivals.  Where I’m from, the local minor league baseball and hockey teams just did not garner as much buzz.  I do talk about tennis with those in the know, but we don’t get into in-depth arguments about things like the virtue of Federer’s backhand versus the leftie Nadal’s forehand.  And I’m out of touch with the skateboarding scene, but I never recall my friends arguing about whether Tony Hawk was overrated as the best in the sport.

I’m thinking of moving to a place like Alaska, but I’m sure that even there they quibble about the Iditarod.  (And gossip about who froze to death last week.) 

“Man, I hear Barney’s out with a left paw injury.  Might be the end of his career.”
“That’s a bunch of polar bear shit.  He’s indispensable because Mawler will never last in lead position…”
But I also wouldn’t want to live somewhere where I have to learn what the hell is going on here:

Of course, the Middle East is always possible, and this kind of thing:

might be a pleasant diversion from the omnipresent fear of getting blown up.
Maybe I’ll just sign up as a volunteer to go and live on Mars.

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