What Kind of “Fucking Crazy” am I?

I was speed reading my buddy’s newspaper this morning, and I happened to make a joke about a celebrity being treated for Bipolar II Disorder.  I had never heard of it and just assumed it was another fake disease, in this case trying to piggyback on the penchant for labeling things “2.0” whenever something is upgraded.  I combined my two assumptions and figured that this was a new and improved kind of crazy.   

“When I’m president,” alluding to an ongoing joke between us, “I’m going to simplify the DSM, the ‘crazy manual,’ so everything is just labeled ‘Fucking Crazy.’  Better yet, there will be ‘Safe Crazy’ and ‘Stay the Fuck away from Him/Her Crazy.’  There would also be a special category of ‘Crazy but Worth Your While’ for people that are fun and crazy.”

Since I had not recalled reading about Bipolar II before, I had to Google it.  As it turns out, I match the description perfectly.  To pick just a few salient descriptions, I talk loud, fast, flit among ideas, and tend to be the life of the party.  It turns out that Bipolar II is not an upgrade.  Rather, it is an “Almost.”  I am almost bipolar but don’t go into full-fledged fits of mania.  I do not consider myself depressive, but I will always consider myself melancholic (see Johnny Cash’s “Man in Black” for explanation).  To link to sites describing my disease, which leads me to start yet not finish things, click he

I will not, however, follow through on the article’s advice to treat my newfound disease with medication.  I avoid prescribed drugs, preferring instead the prescriptions I provide myself with.  Booze and weed every so often.  I trust myself more than doctors.  Shit, that’s a classical narcissist’s move.  Which means…

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2 thoughts on “What Kind of “Fucking Crazy” am I?

  1. I’m a special kind of crazy that makes me have day dreams that I can spray paint things in and artsy way, put them on my front lawn (which is on busy road) and the people will just pull over and throw money at me while I drink beers out of a cooler and play Pink Floyd.

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